#BEVULNERABLE
Today, I had one of the most amazing experiences - I made a new friend and truly connected with a person.
I was out for a 20-mile run and ended up at Washington Park in Denver, Colorado. As I started my first lap around the park I began greeting all the people I encountered, as is customary for me. As I passed one gentleman and greeted him, I heard him call out "Jason!" I had met an Englishman last Saturday as I ran a marathon around the park with a young man. I suspected this gentleman was the Englishman, based on his accent and body structure. I stopped running, and said "James?" He responded, "Yes! it's me!"
I walked over to James and began an hour long walk that would make me hope, laugh, cry, tremble and yearn.
From an e-mail I received from James, I knew he was involved with a non-profit organization called Jiminy Wicket. And, the first question I asked James as we began our walk was, "What's the story with you founding Jiminy Wicket?" James paused for a second, processing the fact that I had paid attention to and somehow discovered his involvement with his non-profit. He took a deep breath, then began to tell me a tale that brought me to my knees.
James had run a publishing firm as a professional. He sounded like a very sophisticated and experienced business man. After many years being a professional, his firm was up for sale. He tried to buy the firm unsuccessfully, and it was sold to a New York investment firm. After mergers & reorgs James found himself being let go. It was at this time that his father began suffering mightily from vascular dementia in England. He hopped a flight and began helping take care of his Father. James told me stories of dementia that just broke my heart. James wanted to do something nice for his mother, so he asked his Mum if there was one thing she could do in the world, what would that be? She responded that she wanted to go to The Nare - an inn on the coast of England a couple hundred miles away. The Nare was a place that Jame's Mum and Dad had vacationed annually for decades.
James made this dream happen for his Mum. He drove the 3 of them to The Nare. When they arrived, it was as if they were family - being greeted by name and as if their return was expected, and only a matter of time. There was not much to do at The Nare, except partake in activities by the Inn - visit the restaurant and pub, walk along the coast, and there was a croquette set. One morning, James decided he was going to "play" with his Dad. He told his Mum to go do something for herself and not return until noon. James proceeded to have a great day playing croquette with his Father. He also noticed that other people could get involved and have a good experience with him and his Father as well. James noted that playing croquette with a person with dementia is much different than sitting having conversation with a person with dementia. In a conversation, a person suffering from dementia may ask the same question multiple times in a matter of minutes, and that can be quite uncomfortable for people who are not empathetic or do not have experience with dementia. On the other hand, whacking something with a mallet is something that almost anybody can appreciate and enjoy! : )
James continued to spend time with his Father until he passed.
Upon Jame's return to the US, he was inspired to create something that could "create connection through play". Thus, he founded Jiminy Wicket (www.jiminywicket.org), a non-profit whose mission is:
to transform the isolation and loneliness of aging and Alzheimer's into connection, laughter and smiles across generations by playing croquet together.
James' goal was to create connection between two groups that struggle with isolation - students and the elderly with dementia. Jiminy Wicket was the answer, and the organization facilitates school students playing croquette with adults in memory care, who suffer from dementia and Alzheimers. In over 10 years, Jiminy Wicket has facilitated croquette events with people from over 123 countries and from 2 to 103 years old.
I got choked up many times during Jame's story, and so did he. Then, Jame's turned his attention to me, and started asking about my story. I proceeded to let it all out, and laughed through the good times and cried through the hard times. I felt connected to this man. We had both implicitly agreed to be raw and real with one another. I knew James was sage in many things, and I wanted to know his answer to THE QUESTION.....so I asked it....
Me: What is the most important thing you've learned in life?
(Long pause)
James: It's not over until the fat lady sings, and just refuse to give her the mic. Oh yeah, and time and intention will heal all things.
James' words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. His advice was timely in my life. We kept walking and I took James to a place in Washington Park that has become very special to me, and I told him of it's significance. We snapped a picture. (The next day, James was walking at the park and he visited the spot and sent a picture of it).
I took out my phone and dictate texted Jame's wisdom to myself so I would not forget it. James walked in silence next to me as I respoke his sage advice. Then, James said, "do that again." He wanted me to record a message to me. I managed to turn on the phones audio recording function, and he said the following words
So here I am in Washington Park with this guy. He's almost a stranger to me. There's light snow in the air. The geese are sitting on the lake for the day. The snow on the ground is so white. I'm with this great guy and I'm feeling connection and playfulness with this man event though we're just walking. I feel his shared spirit here and for that I feel my gratitude.
I was silent. I looked James in the eyes and said a silent thank you.
We continued walking and talking, and soon it was time for me to start my 8 mile run home. As we walked side-by-side, I asked James, "Tell me what I can do to help you." He stopped walking and stood still. It took me a moment to understand that James was no longer by my side. I turned, and approached James. He was sobbing. I asked if he was OK. James said he was overcome and grateful that I asked him what I could do to help.
be vulnerable
MORAL OF THE STORY: If we are vulnerable with one another, we can connect. Vulnerability is a choice. It is scary, and there is no substitute. Men (and women) - it is OK to be vulnerable. It is OK to feel. It is OK to be weak. If you can do all of these things, you will be Truly Strong.....for your partner, family and community.
#BEVULNERABLE #ONWARD
Jason is an expert at teaching people to transform Dreams into Reality. He has amassed a lifetime of expertise in the field as a General Manager for General Electric leading large teams, where he ran a $400 million dollar business, he was a former leader of Global Operations for a Fortune 100 company, an attorney and CEO of a non-profit that helps children with Autism. In addition to his professional experience, he is a US Paralympian, holds 15 world records in ultra-running and mountain biking, is an author, a highly sought after motivational and business speaker and is the 1st and only blind person to run across America - 3,063 miles where he averaged 51.5 miles/day for 59.5 days. For speaking and media inquiries visit www.jasonromero.net
I love you, brother
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