Coping with Fear: The Leadville 100 Mountain Bike Race

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As I sit ere and type, I am struggling with FEAR.  I am feeling scared.  The reason for my fear is a 100 mile mountain bike race in Leadville, that I am competing in this weekend.  

I have always contended that Fear is an emotion derived from some Future event that has yet to occur.  The fear I experience now is being generated by an experience that has yet to occur.  The start of the 100 mile mountain bike race has yet to begin, but I am experiencing an emotion that is attempting to sabotage my joy and happiness. Eight years ago I attempted this same race and came up short.  Specifically, I finished 1 hour and 8 minutes after the cut-off for an official finish.  That DNF (did not finish) has rattled around in my head for a long time.  I am fearful of failing a second time, despite having made adaptations from what I learned during my first failure.  Some adaptations include better training, fitness and equipment.  I also had some additional adversity in the form of worsening eyesight - I have significantly less eyesight than I had 8 years ago.  

In coping with this Fear, I have use my 4 tenets of mental toughness - Hope, Patience, Consistency & Forgiveness.  Hope - I have continued to believe in my dream of finishing the race.  It has taken me 8 years to get back to the start line.  Despite being nervous and feeling doubt, I have never stopped believing that I am capable of finishing the race.  Patience - I have had to remain calm for many years, as this DNF has sat in the back of my mind eating at me.  As I trained, it was critical to have good days and bad days on the bike.  As I learned that shaded areas on the trail are virtually black, and I would just have to trust my bike, I relied on patience.  It was critical to stay calm as I relied on patience.  Consistency - in this journey there were many external (cracked rim, crashes, competing with sighted riders) and internal (deteriorating eyesight, doubt, physical pain, emotional struggle) factors that have attempted to derail this race.  The key to being consistent has been to make relentless forward progress toward my goal on a daily basis.  If I was not biking, I was gaining information on being or increasing my cardio-pulmonary fitness for the race.  Forgiveness - I take DNFs really hard.  If I'm not performing my best every competition and placing well, I have a tendency to beat myself up.  The fact is, after my run across America I just don't feel like I am the same caliber athlete as I was before.  That run permanently took something out of me (but it was so worth it).  I constantly work on giving myself grace for my imperfections.  Being able to forgive myself for DNF'ing is probably the single-most important factor that is enabling me to line-up at this years LT100 MTB.

Wish me luck.

ONWARD!

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Jason Romero is a highly sought after inspirational speaker and the 1st and only blind person to run across America.  Jason is a member of the US Paralympic Team, holds 10+ world records in ultra-running, a former attorney and business executive, and a single father of 3 children.  More information can be found on Jason at www.jasonromero.net.

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